Who is Travis to me?

He was the proof that I could create something beautiful and perfect in this world. He was an excuse to be proud of something. He was a partner to share the most trivial things with and have fun doing it. He was my buddy. He was my heart walking alongside me, the legacy to my name, but most of all, he was my son.

Travis was witty and charming and even sarcastic and very worldly to my amazement. When he walked into a room everyone’s face would light up and he would hold the room at his mercy. He had the kindest heart of any human being I know and was always putting himself second to those in need. He spent his entire time trying to fix broken people – even when he realized he was the one who was broken.

Losing Travis was the worst day of my life, and it didn’t just last for a day. It changed me forever. My most precious gift to this world was taken from me. I went through every emotion – anger, rage, sorrow, pain, hatred, grief, self-pity. I was lost. I had failed him. I had failed my family. I didn’t protect him. I became so engulfed in my own pain that I couldn’t realize that I wasn’t alone. Others shared my loss. His mother had also lost her only son. His sister had lost her best friend, her protector, and her brother. And I simply wasn’t at the capacity to help them. I had no regard for life anymore and I needed to turn that around.

I began to see hope in other charities in which I became involved. I began participating in powerboat poker runs that raised money for various causes, including buying toys for children at Christmas time, finding a cure for childhood cancer, fire departments and law enforcement, and I thought, “Why can’t we raise money to help families dealing with the effects of the disease of addiction?”